So, the Olympic Games are officially over and I am sitting here back in America in an airport waiting for my connecting flight to bring me back into reality... It seems that most of us were in this moment of numbness, thinking about going back to school, back to work, back to training, back to reality. And here we are. Almost an entire month in China living as an Olympian and now back home, just a regular person doing regular things, taking in a deep breath of that good ol' fashion American air!
This time here in the airport (cause I have five hours until my flight) has given time to look back and think about my experience, the highs and the lows, the feelings both in and out of the stadium.
CLOSING CEREMONIES... GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN:
Unfortunately, I did not compete in the opening ceremonies. I chose instead to stay in Dalian and train and focus on the meet, but having done so poorly, I wish that I had walked. However, I did choose to walk in the closing ceremonies. Closing ceremonies is a little different from opening, in that it is a celebration of the time here spent together; it is relaxed with a party type feel. Some march in celebration of successes, choosing to wear medals earned, while others march just happy to be a part of the brotherhood of being an Olympian.
Standing as a team in the staging area, the true feeling of belonging to a team really hit me. Some faces I recognized from before, some are my friends, some are friends I’ve made along the way, some are faces I only know from television, while there are some I only recognize as American by the name on the uniform. We gather around, joking, sharing stories of our time here, and sharing stories of where we will go next. For some, this is just the beginning while for others this is the end of their journey.
We see glimpses of other teams, but it is the bright white of the US team that over powers in numbers and energy.
As we walk down the long corridor leading to the track we are met by thousands of people standing outside the stadium, beyond the barriers, just to get a few photos, a souvenir, a smile from us as we walk by. I’ve never really looked as myself as someone worthy of such attention and I’m still not sure that I am, but was humbled nonetheless.
Finally, we come to the opening of the stadium; there is a hum among our delegation as we prepare to walk out onto the track. Suddenly someone starts the chant, “USA, USA” and every one of us, maybe a hundred or so at least began chanting. You can almost feel the vibration of it as we walk out onto the track chanting and then blown away by 90,000 people in the packed stadium cheering us on. Flashes going off, handing shoved from stands into our group, volunteers trying to hold back the masses. Wow!
We are met by the blinding lights of the stadium, decorated for the closing ceremonies, all the other countries lined up waiting for the celebration to begin. We are dazzled with fireworks, unbelievable human stunts combining athleticism with art, lights shows, and finally the formal ceremonies signifying the end of the Beijing Olympics and passing it on to London for 2012.
I’m glad that I walked. It is an amazing feeling and experience to carry with me. This Olympics has been like a big fancy three course meal, but not getting what I wanted for the main dish. However, closing is like a good dessert, a great finish to the meal leaving a pleasant taste in your mouth. (See a metaphor a result of getting my 4-year degree in 5 little years!)
LESSONS LEARNED, REFLECTIONS OF SORTS:
This Olympic Games was my first real taste of internal competition, and my first major US Team I made. I learned a lot from this trip about competing, preparing for competition, dealing with the results of competition, and the dirty stuff behind it all.
LESSON #1: BEING THE BEST
The end result is not a definite reflection of desire, hard work, heart, or even athletic ability. While all these factors can contribute to a more desirable finish, they do not guarantee success. Sometimes you can want something more than anything, you can give me than you thought you could give, you can prepare your body to its absolute limits and still not come out on top.
Competing at this level was very humbling. I remember when I was young, just starting off in sports while at Julesburg (yeah, Julesburg) and I decided I wanted to be number one. Now I decided this without really comprehending how big this could be and how far I would go to get there. You start off by being number one on the team, then onto regional’s, and finally state in high school. Then once in college, I still wanted to be the best, it took more but I gave more. So, at Colorado State, I started off by becoming number one on the team, then in the conference, and finally in NCAA Champions.
Now that I am out college, I still want to be number one and realizing it takes more than wanting to be. However, number one on this level is number one. Being number one means that you are literally the best in the world! Imagine a population of over 6 billions, and I want to be the first. Well, I didn’t make it that far. But looking back ending up top 40ish or so to 6 billion is not too shabby for my first big shot…
So, number one is still the goal and I didn’t move all over the country pursuing this goal to just get good enough. I still want to be number one and I still think I can. As long as my body and my bank account hold out, the possibility is still there.
LESSON #2: YOU’RE EITHER SOME BODY OR YOU’RE NO BODY
Once you reach the status of Olympian, more doors are opened up to you. People want to start helping you, you get more attention, people want to get to know you and want you to know them, etc. And believe me, all this is very much appreciated and gladly accepted, but what about before this?
I remember times (and not in the distant past) looking at my bank account and wondering how I was going to pay rent, or if I had enough money left on my almost maxed out credit card to put a pair of training shoes or throwing shoes on. I literally at one time had enough money to pay for gas to drive back home to Colorado or pay one months rent and then pray that something else will come up and let me go another month… Hell, I worked for minimum wage at Dominos most of this year!
This year I was dropped by USATF development even. They have a program that is supposed to encourage and strengthen the throws program so we can produce more medals and higher finishes at Olympics. The only draw back is it is completely based on success. So, someone like myself who is struggling not only with training, but also just trying to scrape by, if I mess up the tender balance by spending too much time working and have an off year because I blew out my body or couldn’t spend enough time training or training properly, I get cut from the program.
In fact, I did get cut from the program this past year. Not that I’m trying to talk bad about the program, I think there are some very good things about it and I knew the rules of being helped, but how can you develop a sport that waits until you’re developed to help out?
What else… Well, there is also the thing of sponsorship. Nike, Adidas, New Balance, Oakley, whatever… I don’t know if the common person knows, but each company sets up a “hospitality” location at major meets for its sponsored athletes to give them care packages, etc. It’s not too shabby a deal unless you are on the outside looking in, then it feels like a slap in the face.
Not that I’m saying that the sponsored athletes don’t deserve what they get, they do. It’s just there seems to be so much given and out there and to know I’m struggling to pay bills and there are people who are getting so much stuff they leave it behind and abandon it because they have too much stuff to take home. They places are crawling with agents and people just trying to get in on the success of the successful athletes and if you are not one of them, you are invisible. If you can’t make them money, you don’t exist.
That’s really all I have to say about that. Just stating the facts. I went to a few of those things and felt like such an idiot just standing around, not even important enough to make eye contact with when one of my friends introduced me… yep.
LESSON #3: WE'RE ALL JUST PEOPLE
It was great experience to meet the athlete from the different sports and different countries. I hope to keep in contact with many of the friends I made. I learned so much that I'm not alone in the way I feel. You see someone compete and don't realize that they are a real person. I know that sounds funny, but it's true. This Olympics didn't yield the best results. We start to think of the athletes as machines, but they are not. People's bodies break down, they get nervous, they go out to hard, they make mistakes... Even the athletes we think of as the most solid are still just people. This helped me respect them even more realizing they are human...hmm. Just like me they have good days and bad days. We just all want good days at the Olympics.
LESSON #4: STUFF HAPPENS, I GUESS THIS IS THE PART I MOVE ON…
To be a part of the Olympics is to be a part of history. No matter what happens, from this moment until the end of time, you are never a former Olympian, you will always be an Olympian. I was a part of this 29 Olympiad; I am and will always be an Olympian.
I hope I am able to learn from my mistakes this year and move on. I want to improve upon my weaknesses, I want to get better, I want to come out better for it in the end. I have my sites on 2012 but this time, instead of just being happy to be there, I want to win a frickin medal! It was nice to cheer on my teammates that had success, but I would like success on my own.
I’ve learned to stop waiting for someone else to make it happen. I know I’m not a big time athlete that’s going to land a shoe deal so I don’t have to work. I know I’m not the most gifted genetically being I’m actually not that strong and not that tall. I know when things get so hard that I want to quite the only real person telling me to go on will be myself. I realize that, and I will deal with it the only way I can, by putting back on my dirty old tennis shoes and dragging my sorry but out in that circle and doing it again and again every day until one day its right.
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(Chinese child made this)
(greatwall)
(village)
So this is the end of my journey for the Olympics. I’m about to board my plane and then return back to the real work. I think I will even go back to work in the next few days to make up for all the money I did not make this last month! Thanks you all who have left me comments, my family and friends, those who have supported me in every way, and who have believed in me even when I questioned myself. Thank you to my club, NYAC, and the USATF Foundation, and all my other financial supporters whom without your support it would be really hard to eat!
If anyone would like to keep in contact with me I can be reached by my email address loreesmith08@yahoo.com (yeah, I signed up after I didn’t make the 2005 world team determined to make the 08 olympics…maybe I should change the year to 12?)
See you in London!